I love berries! They’re probably my favorite fruit. Strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, wine berries…my mouth is watering just thinking about them! Have you ever been berry picking? I like to go to the local farm where we can pick our own strawberries. Berries just seem to taste better when you’ve picked them yourself!
I remember taking my girls to the strawberry patch a few years ago and when we first approached the plants, they were disappointed because there weren’t that many berries. I carefully lifted up the leaves of the first plant and showed them all of the delicious fruit just waiting to be picked by eager little fingers! Their disappointment quickly changed to excitement and they were off to fill their buckets! Of course, I told them to make sure to leave the green berries so that they could grow into beautiful, red, juicy berries for the next person to find and pick.
This reminds me of something I used to struggle with in parenting. Have you ever gotten frustrated when observing the spiritual state of your kids because you just don’t see any fruit? Or maybe your frustration comes more from the fruit that you DO see! Fruit like stubbornness, a quick temper, pride or selfishness. I mean, come on kids! Are none of our Bible lessons sticking with you at all? This can definitely get pretty discouraging at times.
Don’t lose heart! Sometimes, I think we just need to “pick up the leaves” and look a little closer to see the fruit that is growing in our kids. It’s not always going to be evident for all to see, but I believe that if we are faithfully instructing them and teaching them God’s Word, our kids WILL have fruit! Maybe it will manifest itself in smaller ways. For instance, my five year old came to the bathroom door (never fails, they always need SOMETHING as soon as I need to use the little girls’ room) asking if he could have some of the candy that I bought earlier that day. I told him that he could choose two and when I came out a few minutes later, he had brought out the bag and offered the candy to the rest of the family as well! Small fruit, but hey! He was practicing kindness AND sharing! That’s a win for me! We have to remember that our kids are still being grown into the people that God wants them to be and those little victories are the fruit growing in them that we are wanting to see. The fruit will get bigger as they grow and be more plentiful the closer they get to Jesus.
Sometimes, however, the fruit in our kids’ lives might look more like those green berries that just need some more time to ripen. I’ve seen this firsthand with my own kids. When they were younger, one of my kids was super stubborn. Actually, they still are, but I do have a point with this! I would get so frustrated at this kid! I could be teaching them something in school, and if I stated a fact about something and this kid disagreed, NOTHING I could say would change their mind. I would just have to move on and at some point, maybe years later, they would come to the conclusion on their own that I was actually right. (Imagine that!) When it came to food, picky doesn’t even begin to describe this kid’s eating habits! We aren’t the kind of parents to cater to that, though. We insist that our kids eat what is put in front of them and to be grateful that they have food to eat at all! If they don’t eat what’s on their plate at dinner, they will eat it the next morning for breakfast. Having the same meal twice has always worked in the past, but with this particular child, I reheated that plate for breakfast, lunch AND the next dinner! Yup. Definitely stubborn.
One day, I was discussing my frustration with my mother, and she gave me some wise words that have stayed with me ever since. She said, “The stubbornness that you see in your child today, may very well manifest itself one day as perseverance.” Wow! I really chewed on that one for awhile, and decided that I would use those wise words to encourage me every time I got frustrated with my obstinate child.
Turns out, my mom was right. My stubborn (now adult) child does indeed have the gift of perseverance, and those wise words have changed my perspective on how I see the fruit in all of my kids’ lives. You know the kid that is ALWAYS telling the other kids how and what to play? One day, they are going to be a fantastic leader. I have a kid who is extremely passionate when it comes to their emotions. When they’re happy they just cannot contain themselves. When they are sad, the world is literally coming to and end. When they are angry, well, just picture The Incredible Hulk. One day, they will redirect that passion and be on fire for the Lord.
When we are looking for the fruit in our kids lives, remember the berry patch. Not all the fruit is sitting out in plain sight, and some of the fruit might just need a little more time to ripen into something beautiful. Sometimes we just need to look a little closer to see that God is indeed at work in our kids’ lives.
