If you are like me, you like to have a daily to-do list for your kids, and maybe even for yourself to keep everyone on task and get things done. This list may be the same every day, like that list of chores that MUST be done in order for your kids to receive privileges or allowance. Maybe this list is something you’ve put together for the summer of projects around the house that you want to get done before school starts up again. I have a mental check list that I use when company is coming over to make sure my home is clean and has a welcoming atmosphere. The chore chart for my kids breaks down into who has what room for a particular week and what particular tasks have to be done in order for that room to be cleaned properly. These lists can be really helpful. Daily routine makes a house run much smoother than if you try and “wing it” with the housework.
If I ditch the routine, I usually find myself in one of two places. The first one is what I like to call the mom martyr. You know what I’m talking about. I walk around the house doing ALL the chores, picking up ALL the messes, none of which I made of course, all the while thinking to myself how ungrateful the people living under this roof are, and how NOBODY cleans up after themselves, and maybe if I took all of their toys and video games away and they had nothing to make messes with, our house would be clean all the time. When I move into the kitchen, the mental tirade continues. “Oh, its okay to make your own food because you’re really hungry, but cleaning up afterwards…Oh right! That’s the maid’s job! Yup! I am just a glorified maid around here. Nobody appreciates all the work that I do for them. Sheesh! And then there’s the bathroom! Do these kids actually spit on the mirror when they brush their teeth, or is their aim actually that bad?? Speaking of aim, what about that toilet? Ew! Gross!” The reason that I call this the mom martyr, is because even though I have all these thoughts swirling around my head, I never once mention these things to anyone. I just silently fume while doing it all myself.
The other place I go to when we are without a routine is what I like to call mom on a mission. My kids would probably call it mom blows her top, but either way, it’s not pretty, and it’s anything but silent. ALL of my fuming is done rather loudly and if I can see you or hear you, or if I know that you are somewhere in the house, you’d better come running and listen to my ultimatum about either cleaning the house and pulling your weight or losing ALL the privileges! Signs are taped to the kitchen wall saying, “If the dishwasher is full of clean dishes, EMPTY IT! If the sink is full of dirty dishes, put them in the dishwasher or if the dishwasher is running, WASH ALL THE DISHES BY HAND!!!!!” Kids are running scared for the vacuum cleaner, broom, cleaning wipes and window cleaner. If a kid is REALLY smart, they escape outside to do yard work, because that has to be done too, but at least mom is busy yelling at all the people inside. I’m not proud of it, but that’s what happens if I don’t make my kids stick to their daily to-do lists.
I should probably mention that we don’t do allowance in our house. Everyone is expected to help out, because that is the only way our house will run smoothly. Now, we aren’t opposed to paying our kids for doing extra chores if they need to make some money, we just don’t think that our kids need to be paid for cleaning up after themselves. That being said, keeping them on task with their chores isn’t as simple as them not getting any money if they skip their chores. Consequences for work not done can have many different faces. Sometimes electronics disappear. Other times, it might simply be having to stop whatever you’re in the middle of (even sleeping) and being made to do the chore right then. Maybe you miss the next outing with friends or some other fun activity you wanted to do. I’ve even pulled the John Smith card and told them that they couldn’t have their dinner until the job was done. Turns out that eating can be an amazing incentive!
I have to be honest here and tell you that we have a vicious cycle that happens with chores in our house. The kids are really great about doing all their chores for a while, and then they start to let it slip bit by bit. I have to start calling people from their rooms to remind them to do their chores, or sometimes it gets to be bedtime and I ask if everyone did their chores that day, and there is either a volley of excuses and half-hearted apologies or it just gets really quiet and their silence speaks for itself.The lists work for about 6-8 weeks before the mom martyr hits, followed soon after by mom on a mission. After that, Dad gets involved and we have a family meeting. We talk about how a house with as many people as we have living under the same roof can’t run itself. Everyone has to do their share. My husband is my champion and makes sure the kids know that I am most definitely NOT a maid and that I should not be the one cleaning up all of THEIR messes. We remind them of their list of responsibilities, counsel them to do better, and then the cycle starts again.
We can use lists for all areas of our lives. Grocery lists, lists for what clothes the kids need, lists to keep track of school work, car maintenance, budget and on and on. What about my personal life? Is there a list to keep myself on task with that? Absolutely! There is a master to-do list that far too often, I seem to forget about. It can make anyone’s life run much smoother and will help make you into a person that others will look up to and admire. It’s a list that will also help you pursue a better way of living, and I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t want to better themselves. The things on this list are not always easy tasks to complete, but they are important for living a life that glorifies God. You can find this list in Romans chapter 12. I’ll paraphrase and put this list into modern, everyday terms:
- Love others with a genuine love.
- Hate evil and cling to what is good.
- Love others with a brotherly love.
- Do better than everyone else in honoring others.
- Don’t be lazy in serving God.
- Rejoice in hope.
- Have patience when you’re going through hard times.
- Constantly be in prayer.
- Give to the needy.
- Show hospitality.
- Bless the people that are unkind to you.
- Share in other people’s joy, but be willing to share in their sadness as well.
- Get along with others.
- Don’t be too proud to love on those less fortunate then you.
- Never be wise in your own eyes.
- Don’t repay evil with evil.
- Have integrity.
- Live in peace with everyone as much as it depends on you.
- Leave revenge up to God.
- Don’t give in to evil, rather overcome evil with good.
Like I said, not everything on this list is easy to accomplish, but it is what God desires of us. It’s a good thing that He is patient with us and will help us learn to model our lives after the life of His son, Jesus. We just need to be faithful in making the tasks on this list a daily habit. Just like our daily to-do lists help us to keep our houses in order, this list can help us to keep our spiritual lives in order, and maybe those watching us will recognize something different in our lives. Something real. Something that will point them to Christ.