If your kids are anything like mine, they really love to play video games. My little boys can’t wait until their school work and chores are all finished so that they can go play Lego Star Wars or Super Smash Bros on the Wii. My older school age kids usually like to grab their tablets and play Mine Craft or some other game. Even some of my adult children like to disappear after work and play on their XBox.

I’m actually not a huge fan of gaming, but I don’t think that there is anything wrong with it, as long as you play in moderation. In our house, all of your school work and all of your chores have to be finished before you’re allowed to get out the controllers, and even then, we have a time limit on how long you can play.

I AM a huge fan, however, of spending time outside. When the time is up for gaming, I send the kids out! Out for some fresh air and some good old vitamin D! You can never have enough fresh air. We have a nice back yard, a dog who will play ball for hours on end, and a trampoline just waiting to be jumped on. There are endless possibilities for what kids can do out in our back yard!

If it’s such a great place, then why do my kids come in after 10 or 15 minutes of wandering around aimlessly and ask if they are allowed to come back inside? Why do they tell me that there is nothing to do out there? If I tell them that they need to stay outside and play longer, a lot of times they just go and sit on the trampoline looking miserable or if I do let them come back inside, they usually just tell me that they are bored and that there is nothing to do. I know exactly why.

Addiction. There. I said it. My kids are addicted to screens. I think that most of you, if you’re being honest, could say the same thing about your own children. Kids in this day and age spend so much time playing inside, in front of a screen, that they’ve forgotten how to use their imagination. They are so caught up in what their high score is or what time their friends will be on so they can play against them, that they’ve lost the art of playing with someone. A lot of their conversation revolves around what games they are currently playing, or, if your kids are older, they’ve exchanged face to face communication with Snap Chat or texting or some other form of social media. Even we as parents get caught up in our own social media venues and watching our favorite TV shows and movies. Today’s culture is really, truly addicted to screens.

So, what can we do about this? Well, I believe, like any addictive substance, you have to stop using. Unplug the consoles. Dock the tablets and phones. Put the controllers away. Hide the power cord if you have to. Declare a video game fast!

For several years now, on our last day of school, I let the kids know that on a particular date, the games will be off for the entire summer. The first week is always really tough for them. They mope around the house saying that there is nothing to do. “I’m bored” is a phrase that gets really old after hearing it for the fiftieth time! They know better than to ask if they can play Nintendo though, because when this mama says that the games are off for the summer, then the games are off! Non-negotiable!

An amazing thing happens after that first week, though. I hear “I’m bored” less and and less and I begin to hear the happy sounds of children using their imaginations! Toys that have sat unnoticed are rediscovered and played with for hours. Suddenly, the back yard becomes an exciting place for endless adventures. All this in just one week of turning off those screens!

I’ll admit, I struggle with wanting the “me time” that I would get by letting the screens babysit my kids, but I love my kids too much to let them waste their summer hours sitting in front of a screen for hours on end. I have to ask myself, if my kids were addicted to drugs, alcohol, or porn, wouldn’t I do everything in my power to wean them off of those and get them interested in more life-enriching and healthier things? Then why is an addiction to a screen any different? Any one of those addictions affect the mind in a negative way – gaming included! One day my kids will be grown and moved out and I’ll have plenty of “me time”. I need to make the most of the time that I have with my children now while they are still at home. Isn’t losing my “me time” worth making sure my kids are living their life to the fullest extent and enjoying the wonders of God’s creation? Absolutely yes.

If my kids are going to be addicted to something, the only thing that I want them to be addicted to is their relationship with Jesus Christ. This is why we spend not only our summers unplugged, but also several weeks throughout the year. I’ve been entrusted with 10 precious gifts to raise and train by God’s grace, and I’m not here to raise junkies. I’m here to raise warriors.

I love berries! They’re probably my favorite fruit. Strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, wine berries…my mouth is watering just thinking about them! Have you ever been berry picking? I like to go to the local farm where we can pick our own strawberries. Berries just seem to taste better when you’ve picked them yourself!

I remember taking my girls to the strawberry patch a few years ago and when we first approached the plants, they were disappointed because there weren’t that many berries. I carefully lifted up the leaves of the first plant and showed them all of the delicious fruit just waiting to be picked by eager little fingers! Their disappointment quickly changed to excitement and they were off to fill their buckets! Of course, I told them to make sure to leave the green berries so that they could grow into beautiful, red, juicy berries for the next person to find and pick.

This reminds me of something I used to struggle with in parenting. Have you ever gotten frustrated when observing the spiritual state of your kids because you just don’t see any fruit? Or maybe your frustration comes more from the fruit that you DO see! Fruit like stubbornness, a quick temper, pride or selfishness. I mean, come on kids! Are none of our Bible lessons sticking with you at all? This can definitely get pretty discouraging at times.

Don’t lose heart! Sometimes, I think we just need to “pick up the leaves” and look a little closer to see the fruit that is growing in our kids. It’s not always going to be evident for all to see, but I believe that if we are faithfully instructing them and teaching them God’s Word, our kids WILL have fruit! Maybe it will manifest itself in smaller ways. For instance, my five year old came to the bathroom door (never fails, they always need SOMETHING as soon as I need to use the little girls’ room) asking if he could have some of the candy that I bought earlier that day. I told him that he could choose two and when I came out a few minutes later, he had brought out the bag and offered the candy to the rest of the family as well! Small fruit, but hey! He was practicing kindness AND sharing! That’s a win for me! We have to remember that our kids are still being grown into the people that God wants them to be and those little victories are the fruit growing in them that we are wanting to see. The fruit will get bigger as they grow and be more plentiful the closer they get to Jesus.

Sometimes, however, the fruit in our kids’ lives might look more like those green berries that just need some more time to ripen. I’ve seen this firsthand with my own kids. When they were younger, one of my kids was super stubborn. Actually, they still are, but I do have a point with this! I would get so frustrated at this kid! I could be teaching them something in school, and if I stated a fact about something and this kid disagreed, NOTHING I could say would change their mind. I would just have to move on and at some point, maybe years later, they would come to the conclusion on their own that I was actually right. (Imagine that!) When it came to food, picky doesn’t even begin to describe this kid’s eating habits! We aren’t the kind of parents to cater to that, though. We insist that our kids eat what is put in front of them and to be grateful that they have food to eat at all! If they don’t eat what’s on their plate at dinner, they will eat it the next morning for breakfast. Having the same meal twice has always worked in the past, but with this particular child, I reheated that plate for breakfast, lunch AND the next dinner! Yup. Definitely stubborn.

One day, I was discussing my frustration with my mother, and she gave me some wise words that have stayed with me ever since. She said, “The stubbornness that you see in your child today, may very well manifest itself one day as perseverance.” Wow! I really chewed on that one for awhile, and decided that I would use those wise words to encourage me every time I got frustrated with my obstinate child.

Turns out, my mom was right. My stubborn (now adult) child does indeed have the gift of perseverance, and those wise words have changed my perspective on how I see the fruit in all of my kids’ lives. You know the kid that is ALWAYS telling the other kids how and what to play? One day, they are going to be a fantastic leader. I have a kid who is extremely passionate when it comes to their emotions. When they’re happy they just cannot contain themselves. When they are sad, the world is literally coming to and end. When they are angry, well, just picture The Incredible Hulk. One day, they will redirect that passion and be on fire for the Lord.

When we are looking for the fruit in our kids lives, remember the berry patch. Not all the fruit is sitting out in plain sight, and some of the fruit might just need a little more time to ripen into something beautiful. Sometimes we just need to look a little closer to see that God is indeed at work in our kids’ lives.